


And Now for Something Completely Different

by Nekuyo



Series: That one Quodo MPreg fic [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien Biology, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Ferengi are weird, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Mpreg, Odo is clueless, Quark is a mess, Rom is a doting uncle, Xenobiology, quodo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-05-10 07:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14732582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekuyo/pseuds/Nekuyo
Summary: A continuation of the AU established in Jazzypizzaz's "Can't Buy Me Love" Quodo series.100% recommend reading that first.The bell on Quark's biological chimes and has unforeseen circumstances. Really now, who would have thought Ferengi and changelings were so genetically compatible?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Funny Valentine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6707035) by [jazzypizzaz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzypizzaz/pseuds/jazzypizzaz). 



Odo disembarked from the Defiant and breathed a sigh of relief. It had just been a simple fact finding mission, but as usual things had gone awry. They'd been away three days longer than scheduled and it was good to finally be home. He hated being away longer than planned. It gave the station every opportunity to get into mischief. Especially a certain Ferengi.  
  
Kira disembarked from the Defiant just after he did. She had a knowing smile on her face.  
  
“Alright Odo. I know exactly the first thing you want to do. Go bother Quark first, then meet Sisko and me in the Prefect’s Office.” She said, fondly amused at her companion's easily read mood.  
  
“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Odo denied.  
  
“Go.” Kira said firmly. “The debriefing can wait half an hour or so.” She was laughing at him, but Odo knew it was meant fondly. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left him in the corridor.  
  
Odo was not a sentimental being. At least, it was very hard to get him to admit to it. So if he felt the urge to go to Quark's first thing and check on the little troll it wasn't an urge born of fondness for him. He simply wanted to check up on the affairs of the station and make sure Quark wasn't up to something.  
  
As Odo entered Quark’s his eyes went immediately to the Ferengi behind the bar. Much to his dismay was not Quark who was tending bar but one of the waiters in higher standing. Rather than sitting at the bar, as he normally would, he took a seat at one of the empty tables to survey the scene and look for clues as to why his paramour is absent.  
  
“Odo! Nice to have you back.” The jovial voice of Doctor Bashir greeted him. He looked up and saw Doctor Bashir and Chief O'Brien descending upon him. They both brought their drinks over and sat with him.  
  
“Doctor, Chief.” Odo greeted.  
  
“You missed the bar fight earlier today." O'Brien said with an amused smile. “A real pity too, since you love arresting Quark so much.” He joked.  
  
“Quark was in a bar fight?” Odo asked. “Well, I certainly hope someone detained him on my behalf.” Odo said in amusement. Though his face must show a little concern given what Bashir said next.  
  
“Oh, it wasn't quite that sort of situation.” Bashir admitted awkwardly. “Quark's confined himself to quarters for the time being. As he really should have before things got out of hand.” Odo had the idea that Bashir meant for that to clarify something, but it really didn't.  
  
He was about to ask why Quark would need to do such a thing when Leeta came up to the table.  
  
“Odo, you're back!” Leeta leaned down and gave him a brief hug around the shoulders. “Quark will be so disappointed that he only just missed you. The main reason he was holding off was because he was waiting for you.” Odo had to recover from the surprise of being randomly hugged before he could say anything.  
  
“Alright. If your intent has been to thoroughly confuse me, you've all done a wonderful job.” Odo remarked. “What, exactly, happened before I arrived today?”  
  
“There was a physical disagreement between Quark and one of his newer waiters. Kazad, I think his name is-” Bashir started to explain.  
  
“Bit like a cat fight.” O'Brien interjected. He's smiling like he's made a suggestive joke, but Odo doesn't understand. Possibly because he's never interacted with a cat. Leeta swats O'Brien lightly with her tray and he mumbled an apology.  
  
“Kazad was.... Well, let's just say he was making inappropriate advances.” Bashir said.  
  
“On who?” Odo asked. It didn't seem like something Quark would do, taking one of his waiters to task over harassing one of the Dabo girls or waitresses. Odo looked at Leeta, wondering if she had been the victim. Quark might defend her, given that she was his brother's wife.  
  
“On Quark.” Bashir explained. He sounds just as surprised to say it as Odo is to hear it.  
  
“Really?” Odo asked.  
  
“Well, Quark is rather attractive by Ferengi standards. So I've been told.” Bashir rationalized. Odo lets out an amused 'hmmph'.  
  
“By Quark himself, no doubt.” Odo replied. “But what does this have to do with Quark retiring to his quarters in the middle of the day?”  
  
“His biological clock was ticking too loudly.” O'Brien commented. Leeta sent a glare his way, but didn't hit him again.  
  
“Quark was showing early signs of.... Well, I suppose one might call it the Ferengi version of being in heat, though the biological process itself isn't anything like as similar as the symptoms.” Bashir said before Odo can ask what the Chief meant.  
  
“Normally male Ferengi seclude themselves before outward signs appear.” Leeta, being the foremost Ferengi expert in the group, chimed in. “If a male Ferengi sees another male Ferengi starting to exhibit the signs, he's supposed to discreetly notify him and help him beat a hasty retreat for the sake of all involved. If they're in a crowd and the symptoms progress things can get a little... rowdy. I've been told.” She explained.  
  
“Kazad decided to use that as a pretense to get physical with Quark instead.” Bashir added.  
  
“Quark nearly took his ears off for it too.” O'Brien chimed in. “He's quite scrappy when his opponent isn't a head taller than he is.”  
  
“Well, I certainly hope Kazad made it to a holding cell.” Odo said firmly.  
  
“Oh yes. Security dragged him away after I made sure he wasn't bleeding.” Bashir assured.  
  
“And how is Quark, after all this?” Odo asked.  
  
“He seemed more embarrassed by the whole thing than he was upset.” Bashir answered. “He wouldn't stay any longer than was necessary for me to determine he wasn't physically injured. He said his ears were already sore and he really should have gone home hours ago.”  
  
“Ezri wanted to talk to him about it, but he begged off. Said he wouldn't be seeing anyone for three days and to give you his best when you got in.” Chief O'Brien said.  
  
“Three days?” Odo asked in disbelief.  
  
“Ferengi seclude themselves for the first three days of their cycle. At least males do. No non-Ferengi knows all the details of course, but it's likely because of pain or discomfort, or perhaps due to... 'rowdiness'?” Bashir said. They all turned to Leeta questioningly.  
  
“Oh look! A new table just arrived! I should go see if they need drinks.” Leeta said, retreating hastily from the conversation.  
  
After meeting Kira and Commander Sisko for the debriefing Odo decided his first order of business should be to pay a visit to the Brig to examine his new prisoner.  
  
Kazad was sitting in one of the holding cells, looking bored and just a little worried. Just like Odo likes his prisoners.  
  
"So, Kazad, is it?" Odo asked.  
  
"Constable Odo." The Ferengi acknowledged. "When can I get out of here?"  
  
"Well, that's very hard to say." Odo said evasively.  
  
Kazad favored him with a confused frown.  
  
"I confess, I don't know what the severity of your actions would be on Ferenginar, but here your actions could very well be considered sexual assault. Which, I assure you, is quite a serious charge." Odo clarified.  
  
"And who determines by which rules I'll get tried?" Kazad asked.  
  
"I think I'll leave that honor to Quark, given that he is both the victim and the... rather unofficial Ferengi ambassador of the station." Odo answered.  
  
Odo doesn't like the way Kazad seems to sag in relief at that statement. Like he knows Quark will go easy on him. Odo suspected the assumption wasn't far off, given how clannish the Ferengi on the station tended to be.  
  
"But as Quark is.... Indisposed for the next few days I see no reason not to keep you in here for the duration." Odo said with a smirk.  
  
"A blatant abuse of power." Kazad growled at him.  
  
"Is it?" Odo remarked.  
  
Kazad suddenly smirks at him. He gets up from his seat on the bunk and comes over to the barrier.  
  
"Could it be that jealousy is influencing your decision?" Kazad asked slyly. "Does that mean you think I have a chance with Quark? I must admit, if I've got you worried then I'm feeling much more optimistic about my odds."  
  
"Hardly. But I admit that the appeal of leaving you locked in here for a few days isn't lost on me." Odo answered.  
  
Kazad sat back down, still smirking a bit.  
  
"Good day Kazad." Odo said as he left.  
  
Odo spent the rest of the day catching up on the crime reports from when he was gone. His mind wasn't really on them. He couldn't help but feel a little worried about Quark. Knowing that Quark had gotten into some sort of trouble, and then not being able to visually assure himself nothing was wrong just didn't settle well with him. Knowing it'll be a few days until that can be remedied is just aggravating.  
  
It wasn't long before Kira peeked her head into his office.  
  
"So, I heard about Quark. You want some company?" She asked.  
  
"Quark wouldn't have to be injured for me to want your company." Odo said absentmindedly.  
  
"Is he injured?" Kira asked, sounding both confused and concerned. Odo blinked, a bit startled by his statement.  
  
"No, of course not. But I confess that until I see him for myself it's going to feel that way.” Odo admitted.  
  
Kira smiled and came in to sit in one of the chairs next to the desk.  
  
"The one thing I don't get... Is how Quark's been managing to slip away for days at a time once a year for all these years without us noticing." Kira said as she sat down.  
  
"I noticed. I didn't know the purpose, and tried to catch him in some illicit dealings once or twice to no avail, but I noticed." Odo replied.  
  
"Of course you did." Kira said. "But how did I miss it?"  
  
"It's not exactly surprising. How close were you to Quark? How often did you visit the bar?" Odo asked pointedly.  
  
"I see your point. Until the last year or so the answer to both of those would be 'not very'." Kira observed.  
  
"And according to Doctor Bashir this is one thing Ferengi are actually quite discreet about. So naturally he tried to make his absences as unnoticeable as possible."  
  
"He's probably embarrassed that such a spectacle was made out of it this time." Kira said. "I'll have to remember not to make fun of him about it when he gets back... Too much anyway."  
Odo huffed in amusement. He put his padd down, finally giving up on it.  
  
"Is it just me, or do Ferengi social norms just get weirder and weirder the more we hear about them?" Kira asked.  
  
Odo raises an eyebrow at her.  
  
"As someone from a people that seem to have very little concept of social structure I don't find any of them more or less strange than any of the others." Odo answered. "Though the Ferengi do seem abnormally attached to theirs."  
  
"I'll say. From what I can tell this 'female liberation movement' is the first real social revolution they've had in centuries." Kira commented.  
  
"It's caused quite a stir too. I've broken up nearly twenty Ferengi 'political debates' that have gotten out of hand in the last several months."  
  
"Does Quark have an opinion on it? More nuanced than 'adamantly against' I mean?" Kira asked.  
  
Odo looked at her like she's been possessed.  
  
"You're not actually interested in Quark's political views." Odo pointed out.  
  
"You got me." Kira laughed. "I just wanted to distract you."  
  
"Well, I'm not interested in Quark's political views either." Odo said. "So why don't we go to dinner and find something else to talk about?"  
  
"That sounds like a wonderful idea."


	2. Chapter 2

The first day back on the job after his seclusion was more than a little hectic for Quark.

The staff was being more than a little cautious around him, which just served to irritate. He wasn't sure what bothered him more, the fact that the waiters were skirting around him like he might hit them if they looked at him funny, or the fact that the dabo girls kept giving him sympathetic looks of camaraderie. He had half a mind to kill that little brat Kazad the next time he saw him just for putting him in such a humiliating position.

In addition to the staff being extra annoying he also had to deal with well wishers, as if he were ill or something. Leeta was by far the worst. She'd cornered him in the back room and ambushed him with a hug from behind. Quark yelped in surprise.

“What are you doing?!” He demanded.

“Rom says that you always get snugly after a seclusion and crave family bonding.” Leeta explained, nuzzling her cheek into his head. Quark screwed his mouth up in silent outrage.

“Of course he did.” Quark said sardonically. His idiot brother never did know when to keep his mouth shut.

“He also wanted me to ask if you wanted us to come over to keep you company tonight.” Leeta asked as she let go. Quark staggered away and straightened his jacket.

“No, I do not need family company. And you'd better be glad I have a healthy sense of nepotism or I'd fire you for even suggesting it.” Quark answered. “Get back to work.”

Family was for bachelors. Neither he nor Rom were single any more. They didn't need to spend their yoom-lox together. Rom spent his last one with Leeta, as was reasonable and completely expected, and Quark had every intention of spending his with Odo. At least, that had been his plan.

He hadn't gotten up the nerve to tell Odo about any of this before he'd left on the Defiant last time. It's why he'd left his seclusion to the very last minute. It was somewhat late to be asking him now, and explaining it would be more than a little awkward, but he didn't think Odo would object to keeping him company. He hoped.

Of course, the concerned conversation didn't stop with Leeta. Oh no. It seemed like everyone coming through had something to say about his state of affairs. It was just like them to not have any sense of propriety about these sorts of things.

First there was Morn, who at least had the decency to phrase it as a question about how Quark came about his poor fighting skills and if he thought he needed training. Then there was a very confusing episode with Doctor Bashir.

“You know Quark, I confess that I'm not quite up to par with Ferengi biology, but if you're suffering from any stressful symptoms I'm sure there are any number of remedies I could prescribe.” He said discreetly as Quark is taking his order. Quark stared at him in confusion.

“I have no idea what you're talking about, so I'm just going to ignore it and wait for you to order something.” Quark said slowly after a moment. Bashir opened his mouth and raised a finger like he was going to explain, but decided against it and placed an order instead.

Quark went back to the bar, wondering what in the universe that was about, and noticed Ezri at the bar. He looked at her suspiciously.

“What?” She asked.

“You're going to say something. Don't think I can't tell.” Quark answered.

“Isn't that how conversation usually works?” She pointed out. Quark shook his head a little.

“You know what I mean.” Quark said. “In case you're wondering, you'll be the fourth person to inquire after my health today. I don't know what's going on with you people. You're far too preoccupied with my perfectly normal biological processes. Didn't anybody ever tell you it's nosy, and highly inappropriate?”

“We're your friends Quark. Friends inquire after your health.” Ezri pointed out. Quark hmmphed at her. “And besides. I've known you for years, I know better than to ask about that.”

“Oh? And I suppose you're just here to order a raktijino?” Quark asked.

“Yes.” Ezri answered quickly. “Aaaaand... To ask how you're feeling after your fight with Kazad.” Quark rolled his eyes at her.

“Raktijino, coming right up.” He said, retreating to the replicator.

“Quark.” Ezri said, as if he's the one who was being unreasonable about this whole thing.

“It was a case of bad judgment on his part, no doubt brought on by the ridiculousness that's going on on Ferenginar. He was put in his place and that's the end of it. Except for the parties involved it was a completely reasonable exchange.” Quark answered as he brought her a newly replicated raktijino. She eyed it with resignation.

“How can you possible call that reasonable?” Ezri asked. Quark sighed.

“Any male who’s in the position to do that to a female is usually well within his rights to do so. Or at least, that was the case before women were allowed to go around unescorted.” Quark replied. “The female then either accepts, or scratches his eyes out accordingly.”

Ezri blinked at him.

“That seems a little violent.” She pointed out after a moment.

“Compared to what? Klingons?” Quark asked sarcastically.

“Point taken.” She conceded sheepishly.

“Of course, doing such a thing to another male, especially one of higher standing that you have no contract with, is completely unheard of. Who knows what was going through his head.” Quark explained. “If he ever reports in for work again he’ll be thoroughly reprimanded.”

“Odo’s got him in a holding cell.” Ezri said. “You’ll have to talk to him about getting Kazad released if you want him to come back into work.”

“Typical.” Quark said. “It’s just like Odo to lock a man up for a minor offense when a simple fine would do and get the point across much more effectively.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Odo entered Quark's in his usual purposeful gait.

He let out a satisfied hmmph when he saw Quark behind the bar, talking to Ezri about something. She's looking at Quark with exasperated fondness, so he can't be at the peak of his usual 'charming' self just yet, but Odo was relieved to see he was looking as well as ever.

Odo started towards the bar and almost smirked as Quark failed to conceal his delighted reaction to seeing Odo after more than two weeks. Quark's reaction was so immediate that Dax actually turned around to see the cause. She smiled as she spotted Odo and turned back around to say something to Quark which caused him to jump slightly.

Odo schooled his face into his standard look of bored condescension, the one reserved specifically for just this sort of situation, as he approached. By the time he actually got to the bar Quark's face had returned to the expression Quark believed to be 'welcoming but aloof', but Odo already knew he'd won that first standoff.

"Quark." Odo greeted the bartender gruffly.

"Odo." Quark said casually.

They're interrupted by a choked, spluttering noise. The noise seemed to be coming from Ezri, who'd finally dared to try her raktijino.

"What can I do for you, constable?" Quark asked, though he glared at Ezri as he did.

"I've got a few questions for you." Odo answered.

"If this is about that incident with Kazad, Ezri was just telling me about it. I've no intention of pressing charges, so you might as well let the kid go." Quark said.

"We'll... Come back to that." Odo said after a moment.

Honestly, he didn't understand why Quark wasn't suitably outraged by Kazad's advances, but it's a discussion for later. He didn't miss the way Quark's eyes roll in annoyance at his deflection.

"I'm not here about Kazad. I'm investigating the death of an Andorian art trader. His body was found in his ship when he missed his departure date."

"And why do you think I'd know anything about it? Or hadn't you noticed I've been indisposed?" Quark asked.

Odo scoffed.

"He arrived on the station well befo--" Odo stopped. "Why are you making that sound?"

"What sound?" Quark asked, leaning over the bar a bit. Quark was making a low reverberating sound that sounded a bit like the ones he made while asleep, though less... breathy rattling.

Odo frowned.

"That... Vibration." Odo explained. Quark looked confused. Odo glared at him. "Stop it."

Ezri burst into giggles, making both of them jump a little and look at her. She gasped a little.

"Sorry!" She said quickly. "I'm leaving before you two get too far into your flirtatious banter." She left too quickly for either of them to protest.

Odo turned back to Quark.

"The Andorian?" He prompted.

Quark sighed and stretched his memory to last week.

"There was an Andorian in here last week." Quark said. "He came in, drank a little ale, played a little dabo to mixed success, and then left. Nothing suspicious."

"He didn't seem nervous or paranoid about anything?" Odo asked.

"Not that I can recall. You might have better luck with the staff. He was at Aluura's dabo table, she'd probably remember." Quark answered.

"And who took his drink orders?" Odo asked.

Quark thought for a moment, then grinned in amusement.

"Well?" Odo asked impatiently.

"Why, I believe that was Kazad." Quark said finally.

“Kazad?” Odo repeated.

“That’s right.” Quark answered. “And I’m sure he’ll be willing to tell you all about it. For a price of course.”

Odo leaned into the bar, narrowed his eyes, and growled in irritation at Quark. Quark face reddened and he nearly collapsed into the bar he’d been casually leaning against, startling the vague threat Odo had been prepared to give right out of existence.

“Are you--?” Odo started to ask.

“Well!” Quark interrupts, his voice sounding a bit squeaky. He clears his throat. “It sounds like you’ve got quite a lot of investigating to do. I’ll leave you to it!” He continued quickly before retreating to the storage room behind the bar.

Odo, safe to say, found this more than a little confusing. He'd half the mind to follow Quark to find out just what was going on. After a moment he decided that Quark was right, Odo did have an investigation going on. He'd come back to this later. In the meantime however, Kazad was hardly going to interrogate himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Odo walked into the brig impassively, heading straight for the cell that held Kazad. 

Kazad was laying down, radiating indignation and frustration.

"Kazad." Odo called. The ferengi didn't respond.

"I have some good news." Odo went on. Kazad looked at him. "Quark doesn't want to file any charges and thinks I should let you go." Odo said lightly.

"Then I can go?" Kazad asked as he sat up.

"No." Odo replied.

"Why not?!" Kazad yelled.

"I'm holding you for questioning for the murder of Abossihl Ch'kiakrar."

Odo watched as Kazad's face went from confusion, to recognition, to embarrassment, then annoyance.

"The trader?" He asked. "I wasn't aware that he was dead."

"His body was found on his ship when he missed his scheduled departure five days ago."

"And you think I had something to do with it?" Kazad asked in a familiar tone of outraged disbelief.

"That remains to be seen." Odo answered. "But as of now you are the last known person to talk with him before his death."

Kazad frowned.

"You were his waiter when he went to Quark's his last night on the station. Ring any bells?" Odo reminded him.

"Yes." Kazad answered reluctantly.

"Why don't you recount his evening for me, to the best of your ability." Odo requested, as if he didn't have much faith Kazad's memory was up to the task.

The interrogation was decidedly unhelpful. Kazad's accounts didn't tell him anything he didn't know from talking to Quark, except that Abossihl had ordered an Andorian dish and a Black Hole and finished both before ordering an ale and heading to the dabo table. Kazad didn't have anything to say about what might've happened after, and refused to answer any questions about his own actions.

Odo hadn't had any good reason to hold him after that. As unpleasant as he found the young ferengi, he didn't really think he'd murdered anyone. And despite Quark's loud tirades on the subject, Odo wasn't in the habit of holding people without reasonable cause.

Odo sat in his office and contemplated the information Kazad had given him, and the information he'd left out.

Both Quark and Kazad had said Abossihl hadn't talked with anyone that night. Odo thought that was highly unlikely. A trader doesn't come to DS9 without trying to sell something, even if they're just passing through. They'll try to sell future inventory if they don't have anything at the time.    
If they had some sort of wares or textiles it's possible they'd go to shop checked directly and bypass Quark's all together, but that was unusual, especially if they had plans to do some relaxing to begin with.

However, Abossihl Ch'kiakrar wasn't selling merchandise, which made it even less likely he'd been as solitary as the two Ferengi claimed. An inventory of his ship had revealed art pieces from all over the quadrant, the bulk of which were Andorian, some jewelry, and a few thing of archaeological value. Nothing illegal,  Odo had checked, but a few things that would sell handsomely to the right people.   
It was that train of thought that made Odo realize the very obvious point he'd overlooked. 

He could've groaned at his own shortsightedness.

Just moments later Odo found himself marching into Quark’s and looking for it’s wily proprietor for the second time that day.  He spotted Quark at a corner table with a man he didn't recognize. Quark was frowning and the man seemed irritated.

Odo stalked up to the table and put a hand on Quark's shoulder. Quark twitched a little and looked up at Odo a little started.

"What are you doing here?" Quark asked. "Aren't you supposed to be investigating?" 

"I am." Odo responded. "And, as so often happens to be the case, my investigation has led me to you. You're coming in for questioning."

Quark glared at him. "I already told you all I know about the last night he was seen." 

"I highly doubt that." Odo said. "But even so you certainly haven't given me all the information you have about Abossihl Ch'kiakrar. Come along."

Odo pulled Quark out of his chair. Quark pulled himself away from Odo's hand and straightened his jacket.

"Alright, alright, no need to manhandle me." Quark said quickly. Odo put his hands up and then used one to usher Quark forward. Just for good measure he gave the man a measured glare of suspicion before following Quark out of the bar. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright Odo. I'm here, ask away." Quark groused as he sat in the chair across from the security desk.

"You're in a worse mood than usual." Odo noted. "Is there a reason for that?" He crossed his arms and leaned against the front of the desk.

Quark looked like he wanted to say something in response to that, but Odo didn't know if it was going to be an actual answer or a snide retort. 

"Later." Quark finally said after some hesitation. 

Odo stared at him. Quark squirmed in his seat.

“Look, if you want to wrap up this investigation you’re going to have to let go of this one. Because once I start trying to explain things I’m not going to want to answer any questions about some ridiculously stubborn art trader.” Quark insisted nervously.

“‘Ridiculously stubborn’ was he? How have you come to that conclusion, having never interacted with with him yourself?” Odo asked lightly.

“I don’t--” Quark stopped, then glared at Odo. “Don’t insult me Odo. You know very well that I make it my business to be aware of all the traders that pass through the station.”

“And you neglected to offer up any information on him when I asked the first time because…?” Odo asked. 

“You asked what he did on his last night at the bar. Not a character profile.” Quark argued. 

“Well then, allow me to be more specific this time.” Odo growled. Quark squeaked and squirmed in his seat again, looking rather distressed. Odo stalked forward and loomed into Quark’s personal space, putting a hand on the backrest of the chair.

“I DO know that you’re aware of all the traders on the station. So do all the traders. So I find it very unlikely that  Abossihl Ch'kiakrar didn’t come to you asking about buyers for the art pieces he was looking to sell. So I want you to tell me all about what he was selling, who was interested, and all the interactions you had with any parties involved.” Odo said in a low, menacing voice. 

The voice clearly had quite the effect on Quark, though not quite the one Odo had intended just at the moment. Quark had crouched back into his seat on Odo’s approach and gasped as Odo leaned over him. He slapped a hand against Odo’s chest and Odo felt a subtle wave of emotions ranging from arousal, to fear, to frustration. It was a perfectly normal mix to get from Quark, but the mix seemed a bit… imbalanced.

Quark, rather than pushing Odo away, clutched the fake fabric of Odo’s uniform like he wanted Odo to come closer. Odo stayed put and smirked a little at the way Quark was trembling. It was a sight Odo didn’t foresee getting tired of any time soon. 

“I-” Quark squeaked, and then cleared his throat. “There was a st-statue. Nothing even particularly remarkable about it.” Quark said, gasping for breath. “I was trying to broker a deal for it for a hyoo-mon that Ch’kiakrar wasn’t all that fond of, so he was… less than willing to do business with.”

Quark, seemingly fighting a losing battle against his libido, finally gave in a bit and arched up to wrap an arm around Odo’s shoulders.

“And what was this human’s name?”

“Quorell something. He didn’t tell me his last name.” Quark said quickly. His eyes cleared a little as something took him out of the moment and he seemed to realize the position he’d put himself in. He let go of Odo and finally pushed him away so he could sit up in his chair. He glanced nervously at the door while straightening is jacket, making sure no one had seen them. 

Odo walked around the desk and casually pressed the button that made the doors opaque on his way to his chair. He pulled up the passenger manifest and scrolled through it, looking for a matching name. 

“Quorell Rosaad.” Odo said after he found it. “It seems he’s been following Chi’kiakrar for a while. Their ship itineraries line up for the last several months.” 

“Well, there’s your lead then. Now if you’ll just excuse me--” Quark got up from the chair quickly. Rather than relaxing Quark like Odo thought it would, the act of the doors going dark seemed to just make him nervous. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Odo asked, shifting quickly over the desk to stand in front of Quark. Quark wobbled at the sudden proximity of a looming changeling. Odo gripped Quark’s arms to steady him and Quark jolted so much Odo nearly let go. 

“I believe we have a different matter to settle, don’t you?” Odo asked lightly. 

“I should really be getting back to the bar.” Quark squeaked. He made absolutely no effort to move. Odo moved his hands up Quark’s arms.

“Really Odo, it’s completely unlike you to leave a potentially dangerous suspect on the loose just to…” Quark tried again. His voice gave out on him as Odo’s hands reached the skin of his neck. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Odo to Lieutenant Primmin.” Odo said, taking a hand off Quark briefly to tap his badge. “Detain Quorell Rosaad and escort him to the brig… Through the outside entrance, I’d rather not be disturbed at the moment.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally giving this the official rating of 'M' because of the awkward sex in this chapter.

The best advantage Odo had in situations like these, was the empathic link he had discovered he could create by skin to skin contact with Quark. It only worked with very strong thoughts or emotions, but when it came to Quark that hardly mattered. Most of Quark’s internal expression was quite loud. Odo had wondered if it was just Quark, or if all Ferengi had developed this because they hadn’t any need to safeguard their minds from Vulcans or Betazoids like other humanoids in the quadrant. He had little desire to find that out for himself though. 

Quark’s mind was more of a mess than usual today. Odo, despite the wave of desire that was threatening to start it’s usual feedback loop at any moment, was determined to get to the bottom of it. When Quark was distressed he was more useless than normal. And, loathe as he was to ever admit it, Odo found his work performance suffered over it. So naturally Odo had to solve this problem first, before attempting to interrogate his latest suspect. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?” Odo asked Quark quietly. (Not to be mistaken for gently. Odo would never speak gently to Quark.) 

Quark’s response was to press into Odo and let out a keening noise. Odo let out a theatrical sigh of exasperation and wrapped his arms around Quark. He desolidified his arms around the small Ferengi and concentrated. 

Ever since experiencing what it was like to truly link with someone, Odo had found words to be completely inefficient in a way that he could never express. Possibly because he’d been trying to use them to express it. Quark, for all his initial outrage upon the realization that more than just sexual desire trickled through their connection, seemed to appreciate the fact that he didn’t have to give voice to any of what he viewed to be his more… unFerengi emotions, if he even could. 

The thoughts that were coming through the connection at the moment seemed to be a mantra of ‘I hate this, please touch me.’ The feelings that came with it didn’t serve to make it any less confusing. Self-loathing, lust, a desire to be close but an undercurrent of disgust. It was all too much for Odo, so he went about quieting Quark’s mind the best way he knew how. 

Quark squeaked as Odo twisted him around and the security desk hit him in the back. Odo pressed their faces together and started exploring Quark’s mouth in fine detail. 

Odo never really did feel like he had the hang of kissing. Shifting his mouth into a pair of lips that he could maneuver just right proved to be a task that he couldn’t get the hang of no matter how much he’d practiced. But the desire to map out his partner’s mouth and explore every detail, like kissing was sometimes described in his vast collection of Bajoran romance novels, was something he felt he could understand. 

Quark wrapped his arms around Odo and clawed at his back. He started producing that low, rumbling vibration in the back of his throat again. It rippled through Odo pleasantly. He sent some curiosity through the link, hoping to get an answer as to what’s caused all this. All he got back from Quark is a building sensation frustration and lust. It reverberated through the connection and spurred Odo into more action. 

Odo melted more of himself to press against Quark and seep through the lines of his clothing, subtly undoing the buttons of his shirt to gain more space. Quark arched beneath him and lowered an arm to brace himself on the desk as one of his legs lifted to give Odo more access. Odo wrapped around Quark’s leg and lifted him to a sitting position on the edge of the desk. Odo chuckled in amusement as Quark spread his legs.

Quark broke away from the kiss to catch his breath and whine more vocally. 

“You’re going too slow!” Quark said, biting Odo’s ear in protest, or encouragement.  

“Am I?” Odo asked innocently, and directly into Quark’s ear. Quark gasped and shuddered. 

“Would you just--!” Quark choked on his impatient remark as Odo wrapped around his ear and undulated against his sensitive lobes. He moaned loud enough that Odo quickly put himself over Quark’s mouth to muffle him. 

It occurred to Odo that, even though he would have preferred to drag this out, it wasn’t really the best time to linger over this. It was the middle of the work day after all. 

“Am I correct in assuming that all this has to do with your little ‘episode’?” Odo asked as he unfastened Quark’s pants and slipped into them. 

“YES!” Quark howled as Odo reached the sensitive folds between his legs. 

“I mean!” Quark started, his conversational skills coming back to him briefly now that his body was getting what it wanted. “It wasn’t ahhh… an ‘episode’.” He gasped. “It was a p-perfectly nnngh, normal biological process!”

“Is th-at so?” Odo said. He was starting to lose his voice, but it wouldn’t do to miss an opportunity to goad Quark. “Do spats of that nature often occur in business?” 

“It wouldn’t have haaa… happened at ALL if-dontstopodoplease- if you’d been back on tii~iime!” Quark got out between thrusts. 

“Hmmph.” Was all Odo could manage to say to that. 

Odo finally let himself drift off on the tide of pleasure Quark was sending his way, letting his body push back against Quark’s as the wave crested and then came down over both of them. 

Odo could feel Quark convulse around him. He let himself enjoy the simple pleasure of surrounding, and being surrounded in part by, a being that radiated nothing but pleasure and satisfaction directed solely at him. It was…. nice, to know he was the cause to this effect. 

Not for the first time Odo was so amazed that he’d been able to discover this sensation. It wouldn’t have even occurred to him that it might be possible if not for his own experiences as a solid. 

It’d been a surprise to him, at first, that he’d been able to manage it with Quark and not Kira, as he felt he had a deep connection with both. After a lot of consideration it had made sense. Kira being a naturally closed off person (with good reason) who has spent years learning to open up to people simply didn’t have the mental openness that someone like Quark who, despite his self-made misfortunes, grew up in an environment where he expected his feelings to matter.

Odo pulled himself back to the present as the wave receded and left satisfaction in its wake. Quark was leaning into Odo, who was starting to solidify, and catching his breath. Taking stock of himself Odo noticed something odd. 

“Your body seems to have altered itself.” He remarked to Quark. 

“Whaa..?” Quark asked. 

“Below.” Odo clarified. Not knowing the proper terminology, instead of trying to clarify more when Quark frowned in confusion he just pulsed. “Down here.” 

He was not wholly prepared for the intensity of the reaction Quark had to that action. Another wave of rippling pleasure hit him rather abruptly and he had to brace himself to hold onto enough solidity to keep Quark upright as he clung to him and, unexpectedly, bit into his shoulder.

Odo almost didn’t hear the startling and completely unforeseen sound of door opening behind him over Quark’s muffled whine vibrating through him. 

“Oh, good heavens!” Came the VERY startled voice of one Doctor Julian Bashir. Odo instantly solidified into humanoid form and whipped his head around in a way only changelings and startled owls can. He glared at Bashir, who couldn’t see it because he was awkwardly shielding his eyes with a padd. 

Quark fell off the desk when Odo’s resolidification pulled him forward. Odo was holding him tightly as he found his legs. The vague horror that was coming through the residual connection made Odo glare a little harder at Bashir.

“What are you doing here?” Odo snapped. 

“Umm… the, uhh, medical scans on  Abossihl Ch'kiakrar have come back.” Bashir said, wiggling the padd in his hand a little. They were rather interesting so I thought perhaps I’d share them with you directly over tea at the replomat. But I can see that you’re somewhat… otherwise occupied.” He hazarded a peek at the two before closing his eyes again. 

“I thought you locked the door!.” Quark hissed at him. Now fully recovered, Quark slapped Odo away so he could turn around and put his clothes back in order as quickly as possible. 

“It appears not.” Odo said in tight exasperation as he peered over the console to look at the door readings. The privacy shield was activated, but he’d neglected to lock the thing. 

“Shall I… come back later?” Bashir asked, looking like he was trying very hard not to laugh now that it appeared he wasn’t at fault for the awkwardness of the previous situation. 

“No.” Odo said with a sigh. He’d been trying to hurry up the encounter anyway, and Quark was very clearly no longer in the mood for anything amourous after that embarrassing unpleasantness. 

“I should..” Quark cleared his throat. “Be getting back to work anyway.” He finished. He tugged at his jacket to straighten it and ran a hand down his front as if to make sure he was completely buttoned up. 

Odo went over to Bashir and took the padd from him and started to peruse it. 

“I’ll… see you tonight, Odo?” Quark asked on his way out the door. He sounded just a little hesitant. Odo looked at him briefly before making a sound of agreement and waving him off with an air of dismissal. If the smile on Quark’s face was any indication he wasn’t fooled. 

“To be continued then?” Bashir teased at Quark, who turned orange. 

“I’ll thank you to remember who holds the keys to your precious holodeck programs before you go spouting off.” Quark said with an air of indignity before going out the door quickly with his somewhat wounded pride. 

The doctor snorted in amusement before coughing as Odo glared him into silence.

“So… shall we?” Bashir asked innocently. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a challenge. I feel like I'm pretty terrible at sex scenes in general, and trying to do one from Odo's perspective is just complicated. 
> 
> Props to jazzypizzaz for reassuring me so that I didn't try to rewrite it a billion times.


	5. Chapter 5

In a reversal of fortune Quark found himself quite chipper and relaxed that afternoon, while Odo seemed completely vexed. 

“He died on _accident_!” Odo growled, having stalked over to the bar after having finished going over the medical evaluation with Julian and doing a cursory interrogation of Rosaad for his files. 

“Really?” Quark said with a smile. “I admit, I didn’t see that coming.” Quark was generally careful to try not to deal with murders, but despite his impeccable sense for reading people they slipped under his radar from time to time. 

“This is all your fault.” Odo complained as he sat down at the bar.

“Excuse me, I’m quite certain I’ve been cleared of all implications this time.” Quark protested. 

“If I hadn’t been so distracted by the ridiculous situations you get yourself into while I’m away I would have had O’Brian go over the ship with a fine tooth comb for any malfunctions as a matter of course. Instead Doctor Bashir had to suggest it to him.” Odo ranted. 

“You can’t go blaming me for your own sloppy detective work. If you can’t run a tight ship while under emotional distress that’s entirely your problem.” Quark pointed out. There was certainly a Rule of Acquisition that dealt with that, Quark mused, but he couldn’t remember the number offhand and it was better to not quote them at all rather than quote them wrong (unless it was on purpose).

“Emotional distress indeed.” Odo scoffed. “Suspicion is more like it. I’d bet a great deal you’ve been up to something. No doubt something involving Kazad, if my sense for spotting guilt isn’t mistaken.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Quark said. Something about the way he said it, either a bit too high pitched or a little too quickly must’ve made Odo suspicious. Quark realized a hair too late, when Odo’s eyes snapped to his quickly, that Odo had been teasing him, rather than actually on to anything. Quark suppressed a terrified squeak. 

“So, tell me all about those absolutely fascinating medical reports Doctor Bashir had. Why did he think they’d be so interesting if they just showed it was an accident?” Quark asked, diverting Odo’s attention back to his previous rant. 

“Oh, it was a very  _ interesting _ accident, at least according to Bashir.” Odo answered. “Something about the way the malfunction interacted with a certain pre-existing condition that’s found only in Andorians. I suppose it would have been easy to overlook.” Odo sounded more cheerful than Quark would have liked to hear just at that particular moment. 

“Then why was Rosaad following him from port to port?” Quark tried again. 

“Sentiment apparently.” Odo answered. “They’d broken up within the last year or so, Rosaad had wanted that statue specifically because it’d been a gift. Ch’kiakrar had swiped it from him in the break up and refused to give it back. It’s still unclear as to whether he intended to keep it for himself as a token or if he intended to sell it.” 

“And.. where’s the statue now?” Quark asked, with feigned disinterest. 

“Already in Rosaad’s possession.” Odo said, a smirk forming on his face. “Apparently he had been offering a rather hefty monetary reward for getting it back to him.”

“I had no idea.” Quark said in fake surprise.

“Oh yes.” Odo played along. “20 bars of latinum for that worthless little statue, can you imagine? Of course, I had no use for it. When he insisted I told him it’d be better off going to the Bajoran War Orphans Fund. Told me he intended to make the deposit today.” 

“How fortunate for them.” Quark said flatly, his brow ridge tightening in irritation. 

“It was, wasn’t it?” Odo said. “Well, I want to finish this paperwork and wrap everything up before tonight. I’ve already spent far too long on this non-issue when I should’ve been spending my energy on investigating  _ real _ criminal activity.” 

Odo left before Quark could figure out whether he meant was the real criminal he needed to be investigating, or if he was part of the ‘non-issue’. So he didn’t know whether he needed to be insulted or not. He glared at Odo on his way out just to be sure. 

Quark didn’t know what he was worried about. He’d already determined that Kazad was completely worthless as a partner in the venture he’d been planning. That boy was completely useless. He hadn’t shown up to work today, which was just as well for everyone involved. Quark was loathe to fire him, since he was an eager to please young go getter. He just had absolutely no cunning and an unhealthy obsession with the 113th Rule of Acquisition.

Quark had been trying to make those traits work to his advantage, and still had hopes that he might. But he had to admit that his first attempt had been a rather spectacular failure. He’d have to find a way to make sure Kazad didn’t try to take any more liberties in the future.

Quark continued about his work, keeping his eye on the clock. He was all too eager to close up shop for the night as soon as possible. He knew Odo would be done with his work sooner than he would and would probably be waiting for him. If that wasn’t enough to make someone will time to move faster he didn’t know what was. 

To his surprise the business picked up that evening, the number of patrons going over Quark’s somewhat optimistic projections, which served to elevate Quark’s already good mood. It seemed like everyone else was in a good mood too, all the patrons anyway. He could hear smiles and random giggling all over the bar. He didn’t think too much of it, other than being aware that the better the mood of the customers the more latinum they’d spend. It wasn’t until he caught a snippet or two of a conversation he started to get suspicious. 

“Right there on the desk?” Someone asked at a table above the one Quark was cleaning. 

“That’s what he said.” Said another voice. “It must have been quite a shock to walk in on that. Can you even imagine what it looked like?” 

“He probably loved it. You know how he is about anything salacious. Such an incurable gossip.” The first voice replied with a laugh. It sent them into a fit of giggles that didn’t end before Quark’s intervention was needed at the bar. 

Quark caught a glimpse of the people at the table and identified them as two younger female Federation officers. No one of import, not even frequent customers at the bar that he knew. One of them spotted him looking and blushed before turning away sheepishly. 

Quark was going to kill that gossipy Federation medic. Or worse, extort him into poverty. Quark glared sharply at the rest of the tables in his immediate eyeline. They weren’t ALL here to gossip behind his back right in front of him… Were they? No… That didn’t seem overly likely. 

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and they were laughing, but no one was talking in those low whispers that were deceptively easy for a Ferengi to pick out of a crowd. Bt most of the residents on the station would know better. So if they knew, but didn’t want Quark to know they knew, they wouldn’t be talking about it at all. Just looking at him with knowing smirks.

Quark felt his skin prickle. No! He was just being paranoid. He wasn’t going to let that ruin his good mood.

“Hey Quark. Having a good day?” Ezri asked jovially as she sat down at the bar. Quark jumped, having not noticed her come in.

“What do you know?!” Quark yelped. Ezri jumped and leaned back in shock. 

“About what?? Geez… I just noticed that the bar is packed. That usually puts you in a GOOD mood.” Ezri complained. 

Quark willed himself to calm down. If Ezri didn’t know, then it was most likely that Bashir hadn’t gotten to that many people. It couldn’t actually be all around the station. 

“I’m in a perfectly good mood.” Quark replied. “Just… distracted.” He admitted.

“Planning another big scheme?” Ezri asked. “Is that why Odo was in such a good mood? Did you let something slip when you two were… busy, in his office?” 

Quark paled, then turned orange. He changed his mind. He was going to murder Bashir. 


	6. Chapter 6

Quark had decided that he was not going to murder Bashir. After all, a dead customer was a customer you couldn’t fully exploit. 

A night spent in a soft bed sappily cuddled up to his favorite gooey security officer did wonders for putting him out of a decidedly murderous mood. 

But not out of a vengeful one, he noted as he saw Bashir and O'Brien enter the bar in some ridiculous medieval hyoo-mon garb. 

“Good Morning Quark.” O’Brien said cheerfully.

“Chief O'Brien.” Quark greeted. 

“Hello Quark.” Bashir said, leaning onto the counter. 

“Bashir.” Quark said flatly. Bashir’s eyes widened in surprise at the cold tone, before realization hit him and he winced. O’Brien, oblivious of this interaction, soldiered on.

“We’ve reserved a holosuite for this morning. Is it ready yet?” The Chief asked. 

“Well, let’s see…” Quark made a show of opening up the reservation book behind the counter. “Oh no… It seems like the suites are overbooked for today. I’m so sorry about that gentlemen, one of the waiters must’ve been taking reservations without supervision again. If you’ll just come back tomorrow--”

“Overbooked?!” O’Brien complained. “This is outrageous! We made this reservation months ago! Ours has seniority even if it IS overbooked!”

“I’m sorry, but there's really nothing I can do about it.” Quark said smugly. 

O’Brien glared at Quark in righteous indignation. He opened his mouth to yell more when Bashir piped in instead.

“We’ll pay double.” Bashir said quickly to cut his friend off. O’Brien turned to Bashir to protest that that was ridiculous, but noticed the sheepish look on his face. They locked eyes for a moment and O’Brien rolled his eyes when he realized what had happened.

“You and your big mouth.” O’Brien grumbled. 

“As if money would sway me from my perfectly fair and balanced organizational system.” Quark scoffed. 

“Triple?” Bashir asked. Quark glared at him. 

“Quadruple.” Quark insisted.

“Quad- Now let’s be reasonable, I only told two people!” Bashir protested. Both O’Brien and Quark looked at him incredulously at that statement. “Or… perhaps four.” 

“One charge for every time you couldn’t keep your mouth shut. Sounds more than reasonable to me.” Quark replied. 

“This is blatant extortion.” Bashir pointed out.

“You can’t say you weren’t warned.” Quark said. Bashir sighed and looked over at O’Brien.

“Don’t look at me. This is your fault so YOU pay the man.” O’Brien said with absolutely no sympathy. 

Quark recognized the look of defeat on Bashir’s face and pulled out his padd and punched in the numbers before offering it up to the doctor with a smile. 

“This is a one time thing Quark.” Bashir said in an uncertain voice. “No more?” He asked as he verified his thumbprint. 

“Ehhh, we’ll see.” Quark said casually. Bashir glared at him.

“So… when will our suite be ready?” O’Brien asked. 

“Five minutes ago, suite 6.” Quark answered as he stowed his padd back in his jacket. The two men groaned and started up the stairs.

“We are NOT paying quadruple the price for every holo-excursion just because you can’t keep your mouth shut.” Quark could hear O’Brien complain.

“Oh, shut up.” Bashir replied before they got out of earshot. 

Quark chuckled in satisfaction. Today was going to be a good day, he could just feel it in his lobes. 

“You’re in an awfully good mood Brother.” Came Rom’s voice to interrupt his internal gloating. Quark looked at Rom and noticed the hesitant look on his face. That seemed like a bad sign.

“Well, I’ve started the day in the black, and that’s reason enough to be happy.” Quark reasoned. Rom sat down and stared hard at Quark. “What are you looking at??” Quark asked after a minute. 

“Being in a good mood is… unusual, for you, isn’t it?” Rom asked pointedly. Quark frowned at him. “I mean! The day after your… you know... yoom-lox.” Rom pointed out softly. 

Quark continued to frown, but more in confusion than annoyance. Rom wasn’t wrong, exactly. It was fairly normal to be rather cranky for the first week or so after the worst part of a yoom-lox was done with. Actually…. he wasn’t suffering from any of the normal symptoms now that he thought of it. But why count the latinum in a found purse? If you suddenly found that you weren’t as cranky and uncomfortable as you had expected to be, you didn’t usually think about why. 

“Well… I suppose that’s just the effect of being in a steady relationship.” Quark reasoned aloud. Rom didn’t look convinced. He looked a little more nervous. 

“About that…” Rom fidgeted a little and ran his hand across the edge of the bar. “I overheard Doctor Bashir telling The Chief about what he saw in the security office yesterday.” He said in a whisper as he leaned over the bar. 

Quark felt an eye twitch in annoyance. He smiled tightly, not sure where this conversation was going but knowing full well he wasn’t going to like it regardless.

“What about it?” He asked. He didn’t want to know, but he suspected that if he didn’t let Rom get this off his chest he’d never hear the end of it. 

“You… you were…” Rom sat back down and tugged lightly at the fabric of his uniform a couple times. Quark felt his cheeks burn. He grabbed Rom by the collar and dragged him into the back room. 

Quark took a deep breath before addressing his idiot younger brother. 

“Get to the point quickly Rom before I throttle you.” Quark growled.

“He didn’t touch your yor-lap did he?” Rom asked quickly before flinching back. 

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Quark yelled. He flinched himself when he realized how loud he’d just been. He hadn’t said anything telling though, so it was fine. 

Rom straightened up a little, steeling himself to have an important conversation on a topic he knew Quark wasn’t going to like.

“Brother… Is there a possibility… you might be…. pregnant?” Rom asked softly. 

Quark’s brain stopped functioning for a moment when he fully processed the question. Once it kicked in again Quark didn’t like what it had to say.

Ferengi don’t breed with other humanoids. It was practically unheard of due to the incompatibility of--... But Quark supposed that it  _ could _ happen, technically. He didn’t know of any genetic reason it couldn’t. 

“Odo isn’t a humanoid!” Quark said, his mouth getting ahead of his thought process. “He couldn’t possibly be genetically compatible with…” He trailed off. 

“Do you know that? For sure?” Rom asked. 

Quark realized that he didn’t. Not for sure.

“I’m NOT pregnant, don’t be stupid.” Quark said with what he hoped was an air of finality instead of denial. “Out of curiosity… what made you even think of such a ridiculous thing?” 

“Well… It was just something that I wanted to make sure you’d thought about, since this is the first time I could remember you… staying with someone, during yoom-lox.” Rom said. “I didn’t really think it might be the case until I saw your face when I walked in.” 

“What’s wrong with my face??” Quark asked in a panic. 

“Nothing! Nothing. It’s just… You looked so happy. Prinadora was like that. Really uncharacteristically cheerful all the time. For about a week. The doctor said it was natural mood elevators caused by the pregnancy.” Rom said. 

Quark was half relieved that this was Rom’s reasoning, and half terrified. Quark was usually in such a bad mood for one reason or another (more often than not financial) that Rom might just not be used to seeing Quark in a good mood. It was easy to dismiss the idea rather easily when you looked at it in that light. 

On the other hand…. It was all around the station that he’d been found half-clothed in the security office with Odo rather handily letting him have it on top of the desk. A signal in the back of Quark’s brain acknowledged that that was something that would usually upset him greatly. Normally he’d have a hard time wanting to show his face over such a thing, let alone being cheerful in the aftermath. That was a position that Ferengi Businessmen just didn’t allow themselves to get caught in if they wanted to maintain any dignity. 

“There was…. one other thing.” Rom said, sounding a bit more thoughtful. Quark’s stomach rolled.

“W-What else?” Quark asked. Rom blushed a little. 

“About the specifics, ahh, of the encounter. That I heard.” Rom said. Sounding embarrassed about the conversation topic for the first time. Quark couldn’t think of anything he wanted to discuss with Rom  _ less _ than the details of his own sexual encounters. Except for maybe the details of Rom’s sexual encounters. 

“Now what?” Quark ground out, his face burning. 

“Is it…. I mean… do you usually…” Rom stammered. 

“Do I what?” Quark growled. 

“Bite him?” Rom finished. “I only ask because that’s a pretty common thing that happens when the fe--” Rom caught himself. “When a Ferengi is…. uuuuhhh…” 

He didn’t finish but Quark knew what he meant. He remembered the general upset Rom had gone through, thinking that Prinadora must’ve been so mad at him because she’d bitten him hard enough to cause him to bleed, even through his breeding clothes, during Nog’s conception. Quark had been there when Moogie had had to calm Rom down, insisting that it was just a perfectly natural reaction. 

Quark was starting to hyperventilate. 

“Brother!” Rom exclaimed as Quark started to wobble. Rom caught Quark and led him to the nearest available seat. “You need to be careful, stress is bad for someone in your condition.” 

“I’m not in any condition!” Quark yelled, jumping to his feet. 

There was a tense silence where neither of them knew what to say. 

“I’m calling Moogie.” Rom said, his problem solving brain kicking in. “She’ll know.”

“We are NOT calling Moogie for this, don’t be a moron. She wouldn’t be able to be any more definite about it than you are. Listing off symptoms and circumstantial evidence.” Quark said as he started to pace. 

“Well… you can’t just wait around not knowing to see if something pops out in three months or not Brother.” Rom pointed out. 

The more irrational part of Quark’s brain disagreed with him. He could live in denial if he wanted to. 

“No…” Quark said, to himself as much as to Rom. “And I don’t intend to.” 

“So… what are you gonna do?” Rom asked. 

“The only thing to do.” Quark replied. “I’m going to get a check up.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Quark did as many mental gymnastics as he could stand trying to justify going anywhere else to get a medical examination. 

Ferenginar was too far to travel, and there was no such thing as a discreet doctor on Ferenginar anyway so going there would be pointless. He didn’t know any decent doctors on Bajor, and most of the doctors there wouldn’t have enough working knowledge of Ferengi biology to be of much help anyway. And there weren’t a lot of friendly planets in the immediate stellar neighborhood.

With no options left he’d scheduled an appointment with Bashir at the Infirmary. Tomorrow, which was the absolute soonest he could get an appointment where he was assured a completely private room. 

This left him with a whole day to worry about it. And there were few things Quark did better than worry. It also left him with a whole day that he needed to keep the source of his worry from Odo. And there were few things Quark did WORSE than keep things from Odo. 

Quark decided to go about work as usual, thinking that was his best bet. Or, at least it would have been if not for his annoyingly anxious shadow.

“Go back to work Rom. You’re making me nervous just looking at you.” Quark complained.

“But what if something happens?” Rom asked, wringing his hands.

“Like what?” Quark asked.

“Well…. I dunno. But you know how crucial that first week can be. You wouldn’t want to lose the--”

“Are you kidding? If the problem took care of itself without me having to think about it that would be perfect.” Quark pointed out. He was far too self-preserving to go through with any sort of ‘accident’, but he put the idea on the back burner just in case worst came to worst. 

“... You don’t mean that Brother.” Rom said solemnly. Quark glared at him.

“Don’t get sentimental about something we don’t even know exists yet.” Quark warned.

“What doesn’t exist?” Major Kira’s voice asked from behind them. Quark turned quickly and saw her and Odo standing at the bar looking curious. 

“Nothing. That’s the point.” Quark replied before Rom could get any ideas about telling either of them. “What can I do for you today?” 

Quark looked up at the clock and realized that it was time for Odo’s afternoon ‘surveillance’. Was it that late in the day already? 

“We’ve just finished going over the morning security reports. So Odo’s decided to treat me to lunch.” Kira explained. 

“And you could’ve picked no finer establishment.” Quark said approvingly. 

“Actually, we were planning on going to the replimat.” Kira said with a smile. “But Odo insisted on doing the rounds first.” 

“Well, surely it would be a crime in its own right if Odo ever dared deviate from his schedule.” Quark said with a smirk. He looked at Odo, who he was alarmed to see was looking at him with the full force of his suspicion. “What?” He asked. 

“Hmmm….” Odo grumbled. “Are you getting into trouble again?”

“I beg your pardon. I never get into trouble. Trouble just washes over me when I’m minding my own business and trying to go about my day as a respectable businessman.” Quark protested. 

“And what sort of trouble are you finding is barreling towards you today?” Odo asked. 

“Absolutely nothing it’s been a wonderfully quiet day. Now if you’re not going to order anything then can you please leave, the lunch rush is starting and I wouldn’t want potential customers to turn away because of a misconception that we’re overcrowded.” Quark said quickly, hoping to usher the two of them out.

“Actually… Why don’t we eat here instead? We’ve got time.” Kira asked Odo lightly. Quark’s face twitched. If he complained it would look far too suspicious, since he was usually trying to get the senior officers to eat here all the time since it was good for business. But the less time he spent around Odo today the better. 

“Then why don’t I put you on one of the upper levels with the observation--” Quark started to suggest. 

“Oh, no, this is just a casual lunch, we’ll just sit at the bar.” Kira said, already sitting down. Odo smirked at Quark. Quark sighed and went behind the bar and got started on the Major’s order. 

In the end nothing came of it except for Quark’s own stress, which made Rom worry, which made Odo more suspicious. 

“Why are you here Rom?” Odo asked casually. “Surely you’ve got important work to do.” 

“Iiiii…. Am on an extended lunch break.” Rom said. “So I decided to come see Leeta?” He fudged. 

“So why aren’t you over at the Dabo tables?” Kira asked between spoonfuls of the soup she’d ordered. 

“I…. didn’t want to interrupt her?” Rom answered. Quark rolled his eyes. 

“What he MEANS to say… is that he’s already seen her and has let her get back to work. So he was just leaving, isn’t that right Rom?” Quark asked pointedly. 

Rom hesitated, but with a rather forceful glare from Quark he quickly made up his mind. 

“Yes. That’s right. Lots of work to get back to, I was just saying hello to Quark.” Rom said with a nervous nod. He turned and started to leave and Quark breathed a sigh of relief. Rom turned around quickly.

“Try to stay relaxed.” Rom said quickly.

“Rom…” Quark warned.

“And drink a lot of slug juice, extra crunchy. It’s good for the bones.” Rom said, ignoring Quark’s tone.

“Rom!” Quark shouted. “Will you go away?” Quark growled. The ‘before you say anything else incredibly dumb’ was implied. 

“Bye.” Rom said before quickly vacating the premises. Quark watched him go in annoyance before turning back to Odo and Kira. They were both leaning forward and had odd expressions on their faces that Quark was having a hard time categorizing as concern, mostly because it was directed at him. 

“Something wrong with your bones Quark?” Kira asked. 

“No.” Quark answered. 

“Has something come up to make Rom concerned about your health?” Odo asked. 

“N-no.” Quark lied, apparently unconvincingly. Odo glared at him. 

“Quark… what’s wrong?” Odo asked, sounding very menacing considering the question posed.

“There’s nothing wrong.” Quark protested. This, at least, he could say with a straight face. There was not, strictly speaking, anything about this situation that suggested anything was medically wrong with his body. 

Odo was rippling in agitation. Not visibly, but Quark could hear it. On the surface Odo was holding very still as he formulated, what Quark hoped were, incorrect theories about what was going on. 

“Quark… If I find out later that your puny little body is failing you and you didn’t even have the decency to tell me about it--” Odo started. Seeing that Odo was clearly getting worked up Quark clapped his hands onto his shoulders. 

Quark was not very good at the whole ‘empathic connection’ thing that Odo seemed to value so much. Oh, he knew that it was either something you had or you didn’t, but there was still a learning curve to being able to project your own thoughts and emotions through a mental link. Deliberately projecting thoughts was a skill he hadn’t mastered. So he did his best to mentally shout at Odo ‘I AM FINE’. 

Odo blinked at him, but relaxed all the same. Quark could feel Odo probing him a bit, so he made his mind go blank. In Quark’s experience Odo could feel his physical state that way, but had a much harder time getting to any of Quark’s more incriminating thoughts. 

Odo catelogged everything he could reach and relaxed considerably when he found Quark wasn’t in any sort of pain. His eyes still narrowed when he realized that Quark was deliberately stalling his thought process. 

“What are you hiding?” Odo asked quietly.

“If I wanted you to know, I wouldn’t be hiding it.” Quark answered as he took his hands away and stood up straight. 

That put Odo into a mood, Quark could tell, but he let the subject drop anyway. Quark suspected that he wouldn’t be so lucky when Odo got him alone tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones a little short, but that's because what was going to be the 2nd half of it sort of ran away from me and has decided it needs to be it's own chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Odo was…. displeased. Quark was hiding things from him, and nothing good ever came of that. It wasn’t even something of a criminal nature, which could be, and usually was, completely expected. But when something was wrong Quark could usually be counted on to tell someone, or everyone, what was happening. Unless he thought he couldn't.

Odo walked himself through the evidence.

Odo had come into the bar at his regularly scheduled time. Quark had seemed surprised to see him, meaning Quark must have been distracted by something. Rom had been hovering, looking worried at Quark. Rom’s suggestions to Quark were decidedly medical advice in nature, meaning Rom thought Quark was ailing in some way. When confronted about all of this Quark admitted to hiding something.

That last bit, as far as Odo was concerned, was Quark-code for ‘please investigate’. Quark never let on that he had something to hide if he was actually trying to hide it. This meant that Quark was probably in some sort of trouble but had to keep his mouth shut about it.

The best course of action would be to ask Rom about what was going on. If he thought it was in Quark’s best interest to tell Odo then he’d be easy to convince to talk regardless of whether Quark wanted him to or not.

Rom was easy enough to find. He’d gone back to work after he’d left Quark’s and by simply following the engineering roster Odo was able to locate Rom in a deserted maintenance corridor. Rom heard him coming and looked behind himself to see Odo taking up a lot of room and essentially blocking the best exit.

“Rom,” Odo greeted gruffly. Rom looked back at his work and then back to Odo awkwardly, trying and failing to find a good way to get out of this conversation.

“Constable Odo,” Rom said in a hopeful voice.

“What do you know?” Odo asked.

“Abooout what?” Rom said with a nervous smile.

“You know about what, about Quark.” Odo explained.

“He’s not doing anything bad. He’s got the right to not tell you things.” Rom said defensively.

“If he didn’t want to tell me he wouldn’t have told me that he wasn’t telling me something.” Odo reasoned. The look on Rom’s face told Odo that there was some sort of failure to communicate.

“Sooo…. You think, because he told you he wasn’t telling you something… That means he really wants you to know?” Rom asked, sounding skeptical.

“He knows that my first impulse would be to investigate. Why would he tell me that there was anything TO investigate if he didn’t want me to?” Odo insisted. He wasn’t sure which one of them he was trying to convince at this point.

“Iiiiii… guess that makes sense?” Rom agreed. He seemed to be lost wandering down that logical track but wasn’t really ready to admit it.

“And so, I am investigating. You’re my first lead. What is wrong with Quark?” Odo asked.

Rom screwed up his mouth a little, trying to determine what to say or how much information to give. After a minute he decided.

“There’s nothing wrong with Quark…. There’s just aaaa…. possible medical situation that needs to be resolved.” Rom said finally. “And Quark’s handling it. He’s already made an appointment with Doctor Bashir.”

“With Bashir?” Odo questioned. “He doesn’t want to go to Ferenginar?” Quark was quite sensitive about medical examinations. Despite several assurances from Bashir that he was fairly competent with Ferengi biology Quark routinely went back to Ferenginar for his physicals rather than letting the Federation doctor touch him.

“It’s time sensitive. Ferenginar is too far away.” Rom answered.

Odo didn’t understand the implications of that statement at all.

“Do you mean… if it’s something he finds out quickly, he’ll have more options on how to treat it?” Odo hazarded a guess.

“Something like that.” Rom answered. “Constable, I’ve said all I feel comfortable saying, if that’s okay with you.”

Odo decided that he’d probably pushed Rom’s good graces to the limits if he was standing his ground. And Odo had gotten enough information to work with. He could safely assume Quark wasn’t in any sort of danger, at least none that he had any power to prevent.

“I’ll let you get back to work. Thank you for your time.” Odo said politely before retreating back to his office.

Now that the immediate panic was over Odo felt more than a little foolish. Of course a certain amount of paranoia was needed in order to have a relationship with a Ferengi, or at least with Quark, but perhaps investigating his medical history was a bit much. He resolved to leave the issue alone for now.

He _had_ resolved, he told himself when he got to Quark’s quarters for the night. There wouldn’t be anything to look into in there anyway. Quark conducted as much of his business as was possible through his personal padd which he kept on him at all times. Anything else he tended to keep to his offices. So even something as small as a confirmation of a medical appointment, that only might tell Odo something about what was going on, would be on Quark’s person.

Quark met Odo’s presence with slightly more trepidation tonight than he did the previous. Odo suspected Quark thought he might try some dirty interrogation techniques on him, and given that a Ferengi in yoom-lox tend to choose their companions based on those they feel they can trust (which is a select few for any given Ferengi even on a good day) he might not take as kindly to that sort of treatment as he usually did.

“I don’t intend to ask any questions while you’re… distracted.” Odo assured him. Quark narrowed his eyes, but relaxed.

“It would really kill the mood.” Quark replied.

“Hmmph.” Odo smiled. He watched as Quark went to the alcove in the back and started on his meticulous bedtime routine. He let Quark get well into what he was doing before talking again.

“I did manage to get it out of Rom that you have an appointment with Bashir tomorrow.” Odo said casually. Quark leaned out of the bathroom, ear cleaner still in ear, to glare at him. “He wouldn’t say much more than that, but it was enough to confirm my suspicions that whatever you were worried about it was medical in nature.”

Odo watched as Quark’s face contorted in a few different directions as he contemplated exactly what he wanted to say. It looked like one of the impulses Quark was contemplating was just kicking Odo out rather than give any sort of answer at all, but whatever sort of biological nesting instinct Quark was going through at the moment seemed to keep it at bay.

“I’m not going because I think I’m…. ill. I’m going to prove to Rom I’m not.” Quark answered after a moment. That didn’t ring at all true to Odo but he didn’t say anything. “I’ve exhibited some… symptoms, of something. And I’m going to find out definitively whether or not it’s true.” That sounded more true.

“So, this is just a precautionary measure?” Odo asked for clarification.

“Yes.” Quark answered. Odo thought for a moment.

“Did you want me to--”

“No.” Quark interrupted before Odo could finish suggesting he accompany him.

It vexed Odo that one of the few personality traits the two people he cared for the most seemed to share was the instinct to keep potential vulnerability well hidden. They must know that he only wanted to help them? They wouldn’t fight the impulse, albeit in their own very different ways, if they didn’t. But that didn’t seem to be the case this time.

Was he scared of Odo’s reaction? Odo has wondered himself what might happen if he were suddenly faced with the mortality of either Quark or Nerys. Was Quark trying to protect him from thinking about that unnecessarily?

“Quark--” Odo started when the silence started to drag on too long and Quark looked ready to get back to his hygienic routine. Quark looked at him sharply. “You will…. tell me? If the results of the examine are… less than favorable?”

Quark looked completely stunned by the question. Then seemed to have to think it over, which annoyed Odo. Was the nature of their relationship so tremulous to Quark that he didn’t know if he’d TELL Odo if he were dying?

“Yes.” Quark answered before before Odo worked himself up too much. It sounded like he’d just made the decision. Maybe he just hadn’t thought of it before? “It’d definitely affect you too much for me to keep it in the dark if..."

Odo flooded with relief to the point where he let himself act more impulsively than was usual with him. Suddenly he was surrounding Quark, slightly liquefied and pouring a frankly ridiculous amount of emotion through to him. If this truly marked the beginning of a ticking clock on their time together Odo was going to make sure that, just this once, Quark couldn’t be mistaken on how Odo felt. But… _just_ this once. 

“What are you--?!” Quark yelped before the emotions started registering proper on his side of the link. Quark stilled as link vibrated through his mind, pinging the different emotional centers in his brain. Waves of relief and affection and worry and love. He shook a little and heard himself whimper more acutely than he felt it.

Once it all subsided and Odo pulled back into himself and solidified into a humanoid shape still wrapped around Quark in a tight hug Quark sighed. A sound heavy with a lot of different emotions that Odo couldn’t identify.

Quark put his hands on the arms that were wrapped around his shoulders and tried to send back reassurance and calm.

“Me too.” Was all he managed to say out loud.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwww.... 
> 
> I didn't mean to write that last bit from Quark's perspective, but I wanted to convey that Quark feels like bond less like waves (like Odo does) and more like sound.  
> Odo is liquid, so he identifies experiences like things that effect liquids. And Ferengi live with their ears, so every unique experience relates to sounds and vibrations.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short.... But really it had to end where it ended.

Quark woke up the next day feeling miserable. He’d barely slept at all last night. Both too afraid of what his subconscious might show Odo if he started dreaming and feeling far too guilty about the scene last night.

Odo seemed to have gotten it into his head that Quark was dying, or was potentially dying. How Odo had gotten this idea Quark wasn’t entirely sure, but he wasn’t at all keen on correcting him about it either. Which just made Quark feel guiltier.

Quark would never admit out loud to enjoying being enveloped in a cocoon of love and support. And Odo only felt that way because he thought Quark might be dying so Quark wasn’t likely to get a repeat performance any time soon once he told the truth, which only made the whole thing worse. Odo was probably going to be embarrassed and furious because he’d think Quark was trying to make a fool of him.

Quark could feel his resentment for this situation starting to build. Rom wasn’t helping.

“You look terrible!” Were Rom’s first words to Quark that morning. “Didn’t you get any rest?”

“No, and if I have to hear about how not sleeping is bad for some non-existent baby this early in the morning I’m going to shove a barstool down your throat.” Quark answered. Rom pouted at him.

“Are you ready to go to the appointment and find out for sure?” Rom asked. Quark glanced at the display on the wall and realized that it was time to get going.

“Might as well get it over with.” Quark said in resignation.

The Medical Bay was quiet when the two Ferengi entered.

“Ah, my first patient of the day.” Bashir greeted the jovially. “What can I do for you today?”

“I requested a privacy bay.” Quark pointed out.

“So you did.” Bashir agreed. “Step inside and I’ll put the screens up.” He said accommodatingly. Once everything was settled he tried again.

“Alright Quark, what seems to be the problem today?” Bashir asked.

“Just for the record, this doesn’t leave this room? That’s one of those weird oaths that hyoo-mon doctors hold themselves to, right?” Quark asked. “You’re not likely to go blabbing this all over the station like usual?”

“Doctor-Patient Confidentiality, yes.” Bashir answered. Quark ignored the annoyance in his voice. If he weren’t such a gossip Quark wouldn’t have to make sure.

“Okay… Good.” Quark said. “I need a biometric scan.”

“Okay then. Am I looking for something specific?” Bashir asked as he set up his equipment. Quark hesitated.

“Well, I’ve exhibited a few concerning symptoms that might indicate… a problem.” Quark couldn’t quite make himself say it.

“Problem?” Bashir prompted. He’d finished programming his scanner for Ferengi vitals and started a basic scan on Quark.

“Being pregnant isn’t a problem Quark.” Rom argued hastily. Quark glared at him.

“Pregnant??” Bashir asked before Quark could yell at Rom.

“My _idiot_ brother has gotten it into his head that I’ve accidentally conceived.” Quark ground out. “Because I couldn’t think of any sound scientific reason he could be wrong we agreed that I should get a check up just in case.”

Bashir looked at the two Ferengi in stunned confusion. He coughed and adopted a professional air again.

“Well, I take we’re assuming that the father is Odo?” Bashir asked lightly. He went to the drawer and pulled out a slightly different scanner and started running it over Quark. “That being the case I suppose the easiest way to make sure would be to run a scan to identify any changeling enzymes that may have transferred from Odo to…”

Quark and Rom leaned forward expectantly. Bashir looked up from the surprising results on the scanner.

“Well, I suppose that this doesn’t actually prove anything.” Bashir said out loud. “It could have simply transferred by accident? Lets run a few more slightly more definitive tests shall we?”

It took running another half-dozen tests before Bashir gave an official diagnosis.

“Well Quark, congratulations.” He said finally. “You get to be the proud parent of the first ever documented half-changeling baby.”

Rom hugged Quark tightly and rocked him back and forth.

"You're gonna be a Mooooogieee!" Rom said excitedly.

The two kept talking after that, Quark was sure, but Quark didn’t hear it. Instead, he passed out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins the decent into madness that is official MPreg.  
> I guess it's time to update the tags.
> 
> And at this point I offer up my tumblr. http://www.asettledsky.tumblr.com  
> I'm taking questions on my views about Ferengi pregnancy and the weird customs that go around it and stuff. Because I've thought about it far too much so there's no way that all my ideas on it are making it into the fic.


	10. Chapter 10

“Quark, Quark wake up.” Rom said anxiously, lightly slapping his brother on the face.

“Get-get off me! Get off me!” Quark grumbled as he came to just a couple minutes later. He slapped Rom’s hands away and pulled himself up after a couple of tries.

“Doctor… I don’t normally doubt the integrity of my own hearing, but just in case could you repeat that?” Quark asked.

“Quark,” Bashir said clearly. “You are pregnant. With Odo’s baby.”

Quark could feel the panic starting to build up.

“How soon can you get rid of it?!” Quark blurted out. The question seemed to stun the other two occupants of the room.

“Get rid of it?” Bashir asked. “Are you sure?”

“No, he’s not!” Rom replied with more force than people normally heard from him. “He’s panicking and acting like an idiot like he always does.”

“You’re calling ME an idiot?! That’s rich coming from the dumbest Ferengi I’ve ever met!” Quark yelled.

“Regardless,” Bashir jumped in before the two siblings could escalate into a brawl “I’m afraid I can’t do anything about it yet. Quark, your body is still in a state of yoom-lox, any sort of procedure I attempted could likely damage something important to your continuing hormonal health. While reconstructive surgery is always an option if that happens, you’d likely have to go to a costly Ferengi doctor to get it done.”

“So you can’t do anything until the yoom-lox stops?” Quark asked for clarification.

“It’ll be at least another two days before I’d feel comfortable. Which should still be before the embryo fully attaches and your body starts going through the motions on it’s own.” Bashir answered.

“Good. That’ll give Quark enough time to calm down and change his mind.” Rom said in relief.

“I’m not changing my mind. I don’t want--” Quark started.

“You used to talk about having a kid all the time.” Rom argued.

“I didn’t mean one that I had to give birth to myself!” Quark pointed out.

It’d been a far off and distant dream of Quark’s, back when life looked a bit different, to find a nice Ferengi woman and settle into a short term contract so he’d have a son of his own at some point. Someone to take over the bar, or mooch off of in his old age once he got tired of working himself. That had been years ago though. Well before he’d discovered the type of people he really wanted to be with and realized none of them were at all suited to that lifestyle.

“Besides, we’re living on the frontline of a war. Why would I voluntarily choose to raise a kid under those circumstances?” Quark tried to justify.

“Nog was pretty young when I came to live with you when this was still Terok Nor.” Rom pointed out. “And the O’Briens--" Quark waved him off before he could list off every person on the station who had children.

Meanwhile Bashir had gotten his thinking face on and seemed to have formed a theory.

“I imagine, if you kept it, then your chances of making it through the war would increase exponentially.” Bashir pointed out.

“What?” Quark asked.

“Well, given the attitude of The Founders to their own kind I mean. If they find out that you’ve produced a half-changeling then they might be inclined to protect it, and by extension you if they believe you’re vital to its existence.”  

That was, admittedly, something Quark hadn’t considered.

“I wonder if they’ve even considered the possibility of breeding with solids before? If they’ve lived for millenia surely it’s had to have come up sometime in the past, don’t you think?” Bashir continued. “Though you’d think if they knew there was some sort of potential genetic compatibility they wouldn’t have such a xenophobic superiority complex.”

Quark had stopped listening at that point. Survival strategies for the impending violence was something he had been working on…. always. They were always in the back of his mind. The Founders had a severely dangerous superiority complex. He didn’t believe for an instant that being part of the Dominion would be that much of a step up from the way things were now. The Founders seemed to regard all other sentient life as animals to be domesticated, and if any of them got out of line or didn’t get along with any of the others they either got severely punished or just put down all together. So, ultimately, he didn’t think the Ferengi had that much of a chance under Dominion Rule.

But… A half-ferengi changeling…. That might be something to give The Founders pause. Something that Quark could use as a bargaining chip to secure his own safety and position if nothing else.

Quark shook himself out of his thoughts and back to the present. Bashir looked like he was off in his own little world, thinking of all the potential consequences of whatever he’d been saying when Quark had lost track of the conversation. Rom was looking at Quark closely.

“What?” Quark asked.

“Nothing.” Rom said, shaking his head quickly. He smiled though, obviously seeing some of Quark's thought process on his face. Rom didn’t care why Quark might’ve suddenly changed his mind, but he could definitely tell Quark had. “So, what are you gonna do now?”

Quark sighed. It was all well and good to have big ideas about what might happen when you choose to take on a new venture…. But you still had to deal with the actual physical parts of it first.

“That’s a really good question.” Quark said.

“I imagine your first step should be telling Odo of his impending fatherhood?” Bashir suggested.

Quark sighed more heavily this time and laid back down on the bed with a groan.

 

Bashir finally kicked two Ferengi out of the medical bay when Rom announced that he had to get to work and he didn’t want to deal with a moody Quark on his own. Quark couldn’t blame him really, he didn’t want to have to deal with this either.

Quark reluctantly went back to the bar and relieved Broik of the bartending position. Quark found tending bar to be quite relaxing on most days. He’d been doing it for so many years that it was more meditative than it was challenging. That usually gave him ample brain power for planning other things to keep himself occupied. Like the best way to tell Odo about all of this.

There were two ways to go about this. With nervous enthusiasm, or with apologetic hesitancy. It all came down to how Quark thought Odo might react to the news. Joy? Indifference? Anger? Maybe not that last one. Odo liked children, right? Maybe Quark was getting him confused with someone else. Quark could feel himself start to panic. He took a deep breath and concentrated on the glass he was polishing.

Quark stretched his brain for the positive bias of his assumption that he was looking for. It wasn’t hard to find. The baby changeling that Quark had found a few years ago back when Odo had been going through his identity crises as a solid. Odo had loved that thing. Had fought with his own ‘father’ on how to raise it. Found such meaning in taking care of it that it’d been downright disturbing at the time. Now it was the best reassurance Quark could have.

Everyone had been caught up in how excited Odo had been to be able to shapeshift again to notice it…. But Quark had been able to tell that Odo missed the little thing. When Quark had asked him about it he’d waved him off. ‘My new morphogenic matrix was part of them. And so now they’re a part of me. I don’t have to miss them.’

But Odo had been looking forward to teaching it how to shapeshift, and about everything on the station and what he’d learned about the struggle to interact with solids. He probably wouldn’t be opposed to having a second chance.

Odo had strode into the bar at nearly the same time Quark had come to this conclusion. He came up to the bar and was greeted by the sight of a very stunned looking Quark.

“You seem… troubled.” Odo said lightly after a moment of confused hesitancy.

“I’m not troubled.” Quark answered quickly.

“No?” Odo asked.

“No.” Quark answered. He tossed the rag onto the counter and set down the glass. He put his hands on the counter and took a breath.

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under a rock*


	11. Chapter 11

Odo hadn’t been looking forward to the day. Even in his regenerative state he could feel Quark tossing and turning throughout the night and the worry radiating off of him was distracting. Odo didn't usually categorize his regenerative cycles as either restful or not restful, but if he did last night's would have certainly fallen into the latter category.

Once Quark had given up on sleep and gotten ready for the day he’d kicked Odo out. They had parted ways with Quark full of impending doom as he was off to see what his fate was and Odo filled with dread at finding out the prognosis after the fact. 

Odo had thought very seriously about sneaking into the examination room so he could be there to find out what was going on as soon as possible. But Rom had made a good point yesterday and Odo wasn’t going to ignore it. Quark did deserve some amount of privacy, and Odo didn’t want to cross the boundaries that Quark had, for whatever reason, suddenly decided to firmly set. But it hadn’t stopped him from thinking about all the various ways he COULD sneak into the infirmary all morning. 

Eventually the time set for Quark’s medical appointment came and went. Odo let a full hour pass before he did a covert sweep of that side of the Promenade to see if he could spot any sign the exam was over. Seeing that neither Quark or Bashir were out and about he went back to his office to brood under the guise of going over the crime reports made during the night.

Odo doubted that it would’ve taken Bashir more than ten minutes to determine that there was nothing wrong with Quark, if that’d been the case. What could possibly be so wrong with Quark that it was taking Bashir so long to diagnose? Some strange, mysterious Ferengi specific sort of disease? What if Bashir couldn’t treat it at all and Ferenginar ended up being too far away for a doctor there to be of any use? 

Odo finished the reports and resolved that working himself into a panic with, frankly pointless, ‘what ifs’ wouldn’t do him any good. Another sweep of the Promenade was probably in order to calm his nerves. 

Odo did his regularly scheduled full sweep of the Promenade before he even looked in the direction of Quark’s. When passing by the infirmary he noticed that Bashir was out and about, going over something on a padd with enthusiasm. Odo caught his eye and Bashir, inexplicably, grinned at him. Odo looked at him in confusion and Bashir’s face went serious in the way it does when he’s trying to hold back mirth. He turned his back to Odo and continued working on the padd in his hand. 

After that baffling encounter Odo felt it was certainly time to go find Quark and find out just what was going on. Trusting that Quark was a creature of habit Odo went directly to the bar. 

Odo found Quark exactly where he expected to. Quark was behind the bar, idly polishing one of the glasses, a look of concentration on his face that couldn’t possibly be focused on the task in hand. Quark’s hands stilled as Odo came up to the bar. Odo thought at first that this was because Quark had noticed him and was going to say something, so when he just stood there staring into space Odo was a bit concerned. 

“You seem… troubled.” Odo said lightly as a way of breaking the odd silence.

“I’m not troubled.” Quark answered quickly, his eyes refocusing and turning to Odo. The slightly panicked look on his face suggested that he wasn’t being entirely truthful.

“No?” Odo asked dryly. 

“No.” Quark answered. He put down the glass and braced himself on the counter before taking a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.” 

“....what?” Odo asked after a moment of stunned silence. Quark seemed to have realized he’d said that out loud in front of many of his staff and patrons. So rather than repeating himself in front of a now interested crowd Quark guided Odo to his office in the back. 

“I’m pregnant.” Quark repeated once the door was closed.

“This is what you’ve been worried about for the last two days? Not some… incurable disease?” Odo asked. 

“Disease, parasite, same difference.” Quark said blithely. 

“I thought you were dying Quark!” Odo yelled. Quark shushed him and put his hands around Odo’s arms. 

“I can’t control the fact that you jump to conclusions about everything.” Quark replied. Odo would have had something to say to that, but there was just enough remorse in Quark’s voice and trickling through the connection that he let it go. Quark probably hadn’t meant to deliberately cause any worry. 

“Yes, looking back I’m sure I should have come to the much more reasonable conclusion that you were hiding a pregnancy instead.” Odo replied sarcastically. How anyone could have come to that conclusion with the evidence presented Odo didn’t know. 

“So…,” Odo said after a moment. “Whose is it? Kazaad’s?” Odo supposed that would explain a few things.

The look of absolute revulsion and indignation Odo got in response to that was so comical that Odo was going to save it for his repertoire of Quark caricature faces. 

“Oh no, it’s definitely yours.” Quark answered. “Bashir checked. Thoroughly.” 

Odo felt a ripple go through him as he struggled to recover from the shock of this statement.

“Mine?” Odo asked sharply. “I didn’t think that was possible.” 

“You weren’t the only one.” Quark said with a sigh. He went over to his desk and sat down heavily in the chair.  “Bashir said he’d have some clearer answers about the ‘specifics’ in a couple of days.”

Odo immediately had a thousand different questions, none of which he believed Quark capable of answering. He wanted to march Quark back to Bashir’s office and demand the answers out of the man. How likely is the baby to survive? Will it be more changeling, or more Ferengi? How strong is it’s morphogenic matrix, will it be a true shapeshifter or will it be confined to biological matter?

“Is it… healthy? Likely to survive?” Odo asked, wondering if Quark knew himself.

“It’s only been three days. It’s probably too early to tell anything about it except that it’s there and it’s growing.” Quark answered. “It’s going to be at least another four before it makes itself comfortable and starts  _ really _ making its presence known. If it follows the normal course of things anyway.”

“What does that mean?” Odo asked. 

“More definite symptoms, physical changes. Nothing I want to think about right now, it’s going to be annoying enough to go through them without having to think about them in advance.” Quark answered.

Odo made a mental note to get a padd about Ferengi prenatal care or something similar. He had no doubt that getting the information out of Quark would be like pulling teeth. It’d be best to start any conversation with him somewhat informed about what should be going on. 

“Well…” Odo said. He couldn’t think of anything to add to that so he just nodded, an awkward smile coming to his face. He sat down on the edge of Quark’s desk, feeling suddenly optimistic about the situation. A more genuine smile formed on his face and he chuckled.

“Stop that. You know it makes me nervous when you look too happy.” Quark complained, crossing his arms petulantly. 

“I don’t think I can help it.” Odo said cheerfully just to annoy Quark. “It’s quite an exciting occasion.” 

“Exciting? Try stressful, and annoying.” Quark complained. 

“Oh yes, I’m sure that sooner rather than later I will be quite stressed, and that you won’t cease to be annoying about every little detail of your discomfort. But for now…. I’m choosing to be excited.” Odo replied. 

Quark ‘hmmphed’ at him. Odo couldn’t help but feel that he didn’t really do the sound justice. There was a certain lack of incredulity in it. 

Odo got up and stood behind Quark’s chair, leaning over the somewhat hunched up Ferengi. Quark looked up at Odo, doing a poor job of hiding the amusement in his eyes. Odo placed his hands on Quark’s shoulders and put his face to the top of Quark’s head. A buzz of relief and tentative optimism resonated through the contact. 

Odo stayed like that for a moment, sharing his happy mood with Quark, when an amusing idea struck him.

“What are we going to call this little amalgamation? Quodo?” 

The face Quark made at that was another one worth remembering.

**Author's Note:**

> And we're done!
> 
> I feel like this fanfic is more or less finished. Obviously the story will continue, but this seemed like a good leaving off point for this... 'arc' of it. Stay tuned for the next bit!


End file.
